How would your reaction be, if you saw a young couple holding hands walking down a street? A couple whom are young, carefree, and they are both males. Shocking is it not? Why is that so? Society has always shunned people whom are different from them. It is an obvious feeling, the one that is filled of hatred and prejudice. This sort of animosity causes most of those whom are “out of the ordinary” to be cooped up in their own world. One full of lost hopes and unfulfilled desires. This is a tale, one that shall in my opinion, give us a deeper insight on these people, and come in terms with the fact that the time has come for all homosexuals to come out. Coming out means identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. It is when one decides to be honest about their sexual orientation or gender and identity.
Coming out contributes to progressive and productive movements of the gay community. According to Herek (2002), since the Stonewall incident, the gay rights movement has increased due to the help of campaigns for racial, ethnic, and gender equality that was developed during the 1960's. Since then, many advocate group sprung throughout the nation. He further added that in the year 1990, the hate Crimes Statistics Act became federal law, bringing with it a major victory, as it was the first federal legislation that addressed the issue regarding homosexual needs. It can be seen throughout history that since the Stonewall incident, many gay rights movements gained momentum. With it, the gay community was first seen. Pride was held a few years later with slogans such as “We’re here, and we’re queer” or “I’m not Gay but my boyfriend is”. A sudden outburst of gays walking down the street portrayed the change that has evolved in a short span of time. This small move caused a ripple that has since been growing ever larger. Through it many political, economical and social changes were made.
A study done by Evelyn Hooker, which established that homosexuality is not a disease. In the year 1973, the American Psychiatric Association did not classify “ego-syntonic homosexuality” as a mental disease, as it was cited in the New Encyclopedia Britannica (2002). The idea that homosexuality is curable is a baseless assumption. Homosexuality is not a disease or a plague. It is just a feeling, and an emotion. In learning to accept homosexuality as just a part of humanity, it brings us one step closer to understanding the fact that all humans are the same. The only minor differences that arise are the partners we choose. The gender should not be a problem.
We humans tend to discriminate those we know nothing about or those who we misunderstood. It is a flaw that has persisted through time. Discrimination towards people who have AIDS, ethnic groups, punks, those with a criminal records, disabled, and just about anybody who is perceived to be different from ‘us’. It is not surprising that a person’s sexual orientation and gender or identity that are different face discrimination. Untold articles write about gay bashing, lost of jobs due to being gay, career vulnerability, criminal liability and death threats among the forms of abuse taken. Even those who are closest to you may not accept you. As put forward by Villarosa and Villarosa (1991), it was connoted that she could not accept the fact that her daughter is a lesbian, she was angry and disappointed – being not able to handle the fact to the extend that even the topic was not open for discussion. Truly one cannot expect all welcomes to be roses. But with the right guidance and understanding one can help further the case that it is not about who or how we sleep with but the overall human bond that is love. Even a mother could not stop loving her child even if that child is gay.
In an article posted (BBC News, 2001) Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamed said that if gay British officials come to Malaysia with their boyfriends, they would be sent packing. “British people accept homosexual ministers, but if they ever come here, bringing their boyfriend along, we'll throw them out.” It is clearly shown here that in most government based upon Abrahamic religion view homosexuality as a sin. The fact that gay and lesbians are against the fundamental rules of religion, it gives an opening to direct confrontations. Mostly, it leads to discriminatory acts, violence and sometimes-even death. It is purely human characteristics to shun and abhor whatever that threatens the norm. In this case, being homosexual is way outward and inevitably will result in the worst of all discrimination. The possibilities are endless, but it could be said that a gay genocide would be the end product of such acts.
Unfortunately, coming out of the safe closet apparently is a tough call. It is hard to change mindsets that have been implied for years and years till now. But, if we take a step back and look at the changes, we can see clearly that being gay or lesbian is not a threat. It helps to change the fixed mindset of many to adapt and most importantly to accept what is different. There are so many people out there whom are afraid of change. It is time for such people to come out of their closets and learn to accept and see what is hidden. Too long has homosexuality been oppressed and swept under the carpet. As we ponder upon these questions, we come to the realization that it is not homosexuality that should be hidden; it is actually the discrimination against it. Why be threatened by something different? Every human has emotions and feelings. Passion, love, anger, fear and lust they are all human feelings and emotions. So, what gives us the right to determine what is normal and what is not? Alexander the great was undeniably a gay. He had many court jesters and friends whom he shared explicit relations of sexual and lustful manner. However, this did not falter his supremacy in warfare and conquering. Indeed, he was amongst the many greater leaders of the world who recognized that change was hard to accept. The Hellenistic culture, a hybrid of Persian and Turkish cultures hard-boiled into one. Does this undermine a gay person’s character? Absolutely not, gay and homosexuality has been with us for generations.
There is a significant personal gain in coming out. One must understand that when one comes out of the closet one would have lifted a burden from oneself. In Villarosa and Villarosa (1991), Linda was quoted saying that she stopped being afraid of rejection. Her mother though dissapointed and angry never stopped loving her and this provided her the supported she needed in being her trueself. It is in their family and friends that homosexuals seek acceptance. The main reason people come out is because, they can’t stand hiding who they are any more. Once they’ve come out, most people acknowledge that it feels much better to be open and honest than to conceal such an essential part of themselves. Most of the emotional disturbance effecting homosexuals around their sexual identity is based on physiological causes but rather is due more to a sense of alienation in an unaccepting environment.
There are many societies, agencies that promotes and advocates for the rights of homosexual youths. Societies such as Parents, Families and Friends of Gays and Lesbians (PFLAG), national hotlines such as the Trevor Helpline, websites such as Advocate and HRC all provides sources for those who are homosexuals or those who are confused with themselves. Thses societies and helplines evidently show that there is support for homosexuals. It gives the impression that times have changed and so will the lives of many.instead of supressing what is real, they are given a chance to shine through endless encouragement and emotional support. They are now encourage to shout out rather than stay quite. Gay and straight alliances show that even the mindset of the youth are changing. It is not ones sexuality that’s important but ones heart.
How long can you keep a secret? A minute, a day, a week, a month? Come to think about it, how about a lifetime? Why is it that when we preach about honesty and truth, we contradict ourselves by blatantly refusing to listen to those who are crying out their heart’s desire. It is an honest expression, a vivid description of life in it simplest form. It is time for us to take a step backwards and to thoroughly examine the concepts and beliefs we hold dear. Are the years of oppression towards the minority really will affect us dramatically? People fear what they do not understand. So it is better to deeply scrutinize the flaws that our minds tend to imagine, but in the end turn out to be the truth and nothing but the truth.
Coming to your family and friends could be the hardest thing a person could ever do. The fear of rejection is always prominent in your thoughts. It would always be a risk to come out, as you can never know how anyone would react. But by being true to ourselves and towards others can we truly lead a healthy and productive life. If you were to hide yourself behind a shame of life it would only be meaningless. Statistics have shown that the more people who know somebody gay the more they are likely to be sympathetic towards them. This is because they are familiar with such people. It is almost the same as the stigma faced by those faced with AIDS. People did not understand its true nature so they did what they taught was right, which was to abhor them and keep an ultimate distance. It is a plea, a cry to the community to accept and move alongside gays and lesbians. Though different by nature, we are same by heart.
